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Our backyard, otherwise known as:

Pachaug State Forest

New take on Holland

Awhile ago I posted an essay written by Emily Peril Kingsley called "Welcome to Holland."  I really enjoyed reading it and felt I could relate to some of it.   Well, yesterday I stumbled across a different take on Holland.  I got a major kick out of it and can relate more to this than the first one!  It's a bit long but worth it.

Holland Schmolland

by Laura Kreuger Crawford

If you have a special needs child, which I do, and if you troll the

Internet for information, which I have done, you will come across a

certain inspirational analogy. It goes like this:

Imagine that you are planning a trip to Italy. You read all the

latest travel books, you consult with friends about what to pack, and

you develop an elaborate itinerary for your glorious trip. The day

arrives.

You board the plane and settle in with your in-flight magazine,

dreaming of trattorias, gondola rides, and gelato. However when the

plane lands you discover, much to your surprise, you are not in

Italy -- you are in Holland. You are greatly dismayed at this abrupt

and unexpected change in plans.

You rant and rave to the travel agency, but it does no good. You are

stuck. After awhile, you tire of fighting and begin to look at what

Holland has to offer. You notice the beautiful tulips, the kindly

people in the wooden shoes, the french fries with mayonnaise, and you

think, "This isn't exactly what I had planned, but it's not so bad.

It's just different."

Having a child with special needs is supposed to be like this -- not

any worse than having a typical child -- just different.

When I read this my son was almost 3, completely non-verbal and was

hitting me over 100 times a day. While I appreciated the intention of

the story, I couldn't help but think, "Are they kidding? We're not in

some peaceful country dotted with windmills. We are in a country

under siege -- dodging bombs, boarding overloaded helicopters,

bribing officials -- all the while thinking, "What happened to our

beautiful life?"

That was five years ago.

My son is now 8 and though we have come to accept that he will always

have autism, we no longer feel like citizens of a battle-torn nation.

With the help of countless dedicated therapists and teachers,

biological interventions, and an enormously supportive family, my son

has become a fun-loving, affectionate boy with many endearing

qualities and skills. In the process we've created . . . well . . .

our own country, with its own unique traditions and customs.

It's not a war zone, but it's still not Holland. Let's call it

Schmolland. In Schmolland, it's perfectly customary to lick walls,

rub cold pieces of metal across your mouth and line up all your toys

end-to-end. You can show affection by giving a "pointy chin."

A "pointy chin" is when you act like you are going to hug someone and

just when you are really close, you jam your chin into the other

person's shoulder. For the person giving the "pointy chin" this feels

really good, for the receiver, not so much -- but you get used to it.

For citizens of Schmolland, it is quite normal to repeat lines from

videos to express emotion. If you are sad, you can look downcast and

say, "Oh, Pongo." When mad or anxious, you might shout, "Snow can't

stop me!" or "Duchess, kittens, come on!" Sometimes, "And now our

feature presentation" says it all.

In Schmolland, there's not a lot to do, so our citizens find

amusement wherever they can. Bouncing on the couch for hours,

methodically pulling feathers out of down pillows, and laughing

hysterically in bed at 4:00 a.m. are all traditional Schmutch

pastimes.

The hard part of living in our country is dealing with people from

other countries. We try to assimilate ourselves and mimic their

customs, but we aren't always successful. It's perfectly

understandable that an 8 year-old from Schmolland would steal a train

from a toddler at the Thomas the Tank Engine Train Table at Barnes

and Noble. But this is clearly not understandable or acceptable in

other countries, and so we must drag our 8 year-old out of the store

kicking and screaming, all the customers looking on with stark,

pitying stares. But we ignore these looks and focus on the exit sign

because we are a proud people.

Where we live it is not surprising when an 8 year-old boy reaches for

the fleshy part of a woman's upper torso and says, "Do we touch

boodoo?" We simply say, "No, we do not touch boodoo," and go on about

our business. It's a bit more startling in other countries, however,

and can cause all sorts of cross-cultural misunderstandings.

And, though most foreigners can get a drop of water on their pants

and still carry on, this is intolerable to certain citizens in

Schmolland, who insist that the pants must come off no matter where

they are and regardless of whether another pair of pants is present.

Other families who have special needs children are familiar and

comforting to us, yet are still separate entities. Together we make

up a federation of countries, kind of like Scandinavia. Like a person

from Denmark talking to a person from Norway (or in our case, someone

from Schmenmark talking to someone from Schmorway.), we share enough

similarities in our language and customs to understand each other,

but conversations inevitably highlight the diversity of our

traditions. "My child eats paper. Yesterday he ate a whole video

box." "My daughter only eats four foods, all of them white." "We

finally had to lock up the VCR because my child was obsessed with the

rewind button." "My son wants to blow on everyone."

There is one thing we all agree on. We are a growing population. Ten

years ago, 1 in 10,000 children had autism. Today the rate is

approximately 1 in 250. Something is dreadfully wrong. Though the

causes of the increase are still being hotly debated, a number of

parents and professionals believe genetic predisposition has collided

with too many environmental insults -- toxins, chemicals,

antibiotics, vaccines -- to create immunological chaos in the nervous

system of developing children. One medical journalist speculated

these children are the proverbial "canary in the coal mine", here to

alert us to the growing dangers in our environment.

While this is certainly not a view shared by all in the autism

community, it feels true to me.

I hope that researchers discover the magic bullet we all so

desperately crave. And I will never stop investigating new treatments

and therapies that might help my son. But more and more my priorities

are shifting from what "could be" to "what is." I look around this

country my family has created, with all its unique customs, and it

feels like home. For us, any time spent "nation building" is time

well spent.

-- The End --

Summer Vacation 2009

We headed out for a quick trip last week.  We had planned to spend a few days with my aunt and uncle in PA and then head down to Philadelphia for a day and head home.  Well, what we had planned to be a four day trip, turned into a week vacation.  We had such a good time with my aunt and uncle and cousins that we decided to stop by for a few more days after we went to Philly.  It was a great time.  Just what we needed!

Liberty Bell

Constitution Center

Constitution Center

Franklin Institute

Geno's Steaks

Valley Forge

Valley Forge Memorial Arch

Maine

Yesterday we took a quick trip up to Kittery, Maine.  We haven't been up there since we lived there 8 years ago.  It was fun to show Allie the house she lived in when she was a baby.  It was nice to be able to go through our old stomping grounds and see what all had changed.  

Then we headed up the shore line to York to see Nubble Light.  

After that, we continued up Route 1 and eventually made it to Portland Head Light.  I love it there.  We had a nice picnic with a seagull waiting for us to finish so he could have our leftovers.  Little did he know, we didn't leave any!

After goofing off for a bit at the lighthouse, we headed south and went to Kittery Trading Post.  It was a lot of fun to walk through there and drool at some nice bikes and BL was picking our kayaks.  If only we had a money tree!  

When we finished up there, we headed to one of our favorite restuarants up there, Bugaboo Creek Steak House.  It was better than we remember!  It has a talking Buffalo that the kids just got a kick out of!  

We headed home after dinner and hit some major thunder storms.  Glad the rain held off until our drive home!

Patriot Half Ironman

Here it is!  My major accomplishment for the tri season.  It was quite a day.  Not just the race itself but the journey to get there.  It is a journey I will never forget.

Triathlon - 1/2 Ironman (1.2 mile swim, 58 mile bike, 13.1 mile run)

Total Time = 7h 26m 16s

Overall Rank = 295/318

Age Group = Athena

Age Group Rank = 5/6

Pre-race routine:

Where to begin. I guess this all starts a few months ago, after the Hyannis Half Marathon in

 February. I had such a good time with the Mass Mafia from BeginnerTriathlete.com and a good

 race, that Marianne said, "hey, you should do Patriot Half Ironman (HIM) with us. There are a bunch of us doing it as our first HIM. You can cover the swim and run and you have plenty of time to work on your bike fitness." I said, "sounds like a great idea!" So, I signed up. I upgraded my BT (Beginner Triathlete) membership to silver and imported a training plan. I was doing really well with it too! Then life happened and I had a lot going on with BC (and continues to go on). Then I got injured playing a softball game as a favor to another friend. There went another week of training. I thought all was lost at that point and had a mini melt down. I pulled it together and refocussed and trained as hard as I could. Then some more stuff happened with BC and I had a total meltdown! Again, I pulled my head out of my rear and changed my goals for this race. I no longer had a time goal, only to finish. I was even okay if I was dead last. Something I have NEVER said (and doubt I'll say again!). I now viewed this race more like telling the universe it could go screw itself! No matter what it threw at me over the past few months, I was still gonna do this and do it with a smile.

So, Friday comes and Beth (who had spend countless hours training with me) and I drive up to MA and head to the race site. We meet up with Helen and it was GREAT to finally meet her! Marianne is around too and we go and pick up our packets. We then head out to a fun filled dinner and have a great time with some more BTers, Lisa, Josh and Rob. The MA BT crew is a blast. Really good people!

After dinner, Beth, Helen and I head over to the hotel. Helen needs to eat (again!) so she heads out to grab some food. I decided I was beat and need to try to sleep. Yeah, that didn't go so well. I was awake every 30 minutes. Ugh.

4:30 comes quickly! We all get up and get ready and are out of the hotel around 5:15. We get to the race site by 6:00. Got my transition area set up and go to get body marked. I wait my turn, get there and go, crap, is my number 395 or 365. I go and double check and I'm 395. Geez, I'm a dork! I eventually get body marked and meet up with Rudy. We chat for a bit and he tries to calm my nerves but I'm still a nervous wreck. I talk with Marianne (drool over her bike and new wheels), meet Sue and Cat. Chat with Kathy G. Chat with my rack mates. Lots of chatting!

Around 6:45, I decide to start getting into my wetsuit since it takes so long! I struggle with it for a bit and then I'm all set, it just needs to be zipped up. Plenty of time to do that later, my wave doesn't go off until 7:30.

I walk down to the water and chat with Rudy, Josh, Helen and Kathy. After a bit, I ask Rudy to zip me up. He does and I'm not exactly sure what happened but something went wrong with the zipper. Well, I'm freaking out as it is and now my wetsuit zipper is messed up. All I can think about is, "my wave goes off in 15 minutes and I am stuck in my wetsuit. I won't be able to get it off!" Well, between Rudy, Helen and Josh, they figure it out and get it fixed. Phew! Nothing like a little extra stress!

Soon, it is time for our wave. Kathy, Rudy and I make our way into the starting area and we see Kathy M. Yay, more BTers!! Say a quick hello and grab a hug and it's time to go!

Event warmup:

Ummm, does standing around in my wetsuit talking count??

Swim

36:26 - 1m 32s/100 yards

The swim had to be short. I am not that fast! But, it was still a great swim for me. The water felt great. I found open water really fast and just swam my little heart out. I didn't push it and just focused on my stroke and sighting. I had little problems with either. I tried to find someone to draft off but could never really find anyone with the same pace that could swim straight! I had someone draft off me almost the entire time. Every few minutes, my feet would get slapped. The first time sort of startled me but after that, I was fine.

Towards the end, I had a blonde moment. When I was breathing, I thought I smelt (tasted) nasty exhaust fumes. Not really thinking (obviously), when my head was back in the water, I take a sniff to see if I really smelt fumes. Well, the water steams up my nose and I feel like an idiot! I quickly realize that I am not the sharpest crayon in the box and blow out all the water. I had to chuckle at my stupidity! I guess I was in a zone and forgot what I was doing? Who knows!

I had a few sighting issues after I passed the last buoy. My goggles had fogged up a little and I was having a hard time seeing the swim exit. So I zig-zagged my way to the exit.

What would you do differently?:

Not much. I pretty much stopped swimming a month ago. I just got tired of going to the pool. Had I been training consistently, I think my time would have been better. All things considered, this was a fantastic swim.

T1

3:42

I took my time. I was in no hurry. I got my wetsuit off, put on my bike jersey, socks, shoes, sunglasses, and helmet. Then grabbed my Uncrustables (thanks Marianne!) and stuffed them in my pockets. I unracked my bike and meandered out of transition. I have never been so slow in my life!

What would you do differently?:

Nothing. I was slow on purpose. I wanted to make sure I had everything and I did!

Bike

3:49:51 - 15.14 mph

Wow. This was tough for me. Going into the race, I knew that the bike was going to be my

 downfall. My longest training ride was 40 miles. With everything that I have had going on in my life, I just didn't have the time or energy to do the long rides. Then I injured my quads and lost another week or so of quality training. That being said, I knew as long as I could make it to mile 58, I would finish this race. I made it but I paid for it!

The first loop was great! I was averaging between 16-17 mph and for me, that is HUGE! I knew it would come back to bite me on the second lap but I felt really good. My only issue was the mud that was stuck near my front brake from the muddy transition. I thought at first I had a flat or my brakes were rubbing but then realized the rubbing was just mud. I got it out without having to stop and was relieved that it wasn't anything mechanical!

At mile 15, I was HUNGRY! Like stomach growling hungry. I ate one Uncrustable even though I wanted to wait until mile 20ish before I ate it. After, I washed it down with a little Gatorade/water mix and was good to go. I was just out for a little spin on my bike and enjoying the course. It was a little lonely though. When you are as BOP (back of the pack=slow) as me, there aren't a lot of people around to ride with! But, it was really peaceful! Around mile 24ish, I saw Beth and Rudy. That was great! It gave me a little morale booster and made me smile.

The second lap just plain sucked! I had finished my first bottle of Gatorade/water and started on the plain Gatorade. Well, my stomach didn't much like it. At all. I ate my second Uncrustable around mile 40 but it didn't sit real well. Nothing major, just felt yucky. My speed dropped off pretty bad too. I went from 16-17 down to 11-13. Yikes. I was tired. Mile 50 came and I wanted to kill Marianne! Darn her for talking me into this! My back hurt, my arms hurt, my bum hurt, my legs hurt. Mentally, I was a wreck. Like about to start to cry wreck. I had a little pep talk with myself and decided it was time to put on the big girl panties, drop the hammer and get this ride over with! I still had a blasted half marathon to run and my pitiful 12 mph wasn't going to get me to T2 any faster so let's go!!!!

As I was coming up the hill at the end of the second lap, I could see all the speedy people finishing their run! I got quite a kick out of that. I can only imagine what it must be like to do a HIM in under 5 hours. They were moving! Here they were finishing the race as I was just starting my run. Funny!

What would you do differently?:

There really wasn't much I could have done differently on race day. My lack of training was a problem and I knew it was going to be at the start of the day. I gave it all I had, I just didn't have much to give. My goal was sub 4 hours for the bike and I made it. Yay me!

T2

3:20

I reached the dismount line and gingerly got off my bike. It felt GREAT to get off!!! The volunteers asked if I was an Aquabiker (swim and bike only) and I said "I wish, but I still have 13.1 to complete!"

I walked my bike to my rack and racked it. I swapped my shoes, swapped shirts, grabbed my visor and race belt. As an afterthought, I grabbed a gel and downed it. I drank some water and was thinking about walking out of T2 when I hear someone call my name. I look up and see Lisa's smiling face. She says, "what are you doing?" I said, "having a picnic!" It was a God send to see her. Really. After that horrible bike, I wanted to die. Seeing her, and then all my other friends, was like manna falling from heaven! I chatted with them for a few minutes and then hit the port a potty. I decided I better get running so off I went.

What would you do differently?:

Not a gosh darn thing!

Run

2:56:58 - 13m 31s per mile

I started walking right out of transition. I knew I didn't want to run right away. I happened to walk out of T2 with another lady. So of course we start chatting. Her name is Linda and has a daughter named Erica who runs like a gazelle. Well, I don't run like a gazelle but I can try! We walk for about a half mile and then we decide to run. Slowly. I feel GREAT. Yay me! She says, nope, go on without me. Okay. So off I go. My slow little run.

Soon here is the first aide station. Wow, that was quick! I walk through it and drink some water. Then start running again. I see another runner up ahead and I'm catching her!! I catch up and ask how she is doing. She was good but is ready to be done. We chat for a bit and then here comes Linda again. We all run together until the 2nd aide station. I walk through again (walking all aide stations) and grab more water. Linda and I start running and the other girl drops off. The two of us had a really nice conversation. It was so nice to have someone to run with and talk with! If I was alone on that course, I would have died, okay, not really, but you know what I mean!

Mile 3, I take a gel and more water. Still feeling good! Then comes mile 4. Yup, I'm done! My legs were heavy and my stomach started complaining. I ignored it and we kept on running our slow running pace. By mile 6, I needed a bathroom. NOW! Well, there weren't any port o potties on the course. So, off to find a bush for me. That was an experience I hope to never repeat again!

Linda had kept on going so I had to catch up. I did so pretty quickly and was feeling better. We were now taking more walk breaks but still running the majority of it. By mile 10, we both were done. But, we only had a 5k left. No problem, right???

Around mile 11, I see Beth running up on the other side of the road. What a great sight! She crosses over and runs with us and asks how we are feeling. Well, like crap! But, we only had two more miles!!

I had been keeping an eye on the time and really wanted to finish before 3:00. It was 2:45. We had 15 minutes to cover a mile. Let's go! So, we start running again. Then came that stupid hill. We walk up the hill and then start running again. Beth takes off and Linda and I head to the finish chute.

What I didn't realize is that there was still a decent run before we got to the finish line. Really??? Come on! I just want to be done! I had nothing left. So I thought. I round the corner and I hear a big cheer from none other than the BT crew. I heard Chris and Helen specifically. That was enough for me to kick it up a notch. I finally see the finish line and make it through. Kathy M was there with my medal and water. It took me a minute to realize it was her but I was so thankful she was there.

That was such an emotional moment for me. Yes, I started to cry. I couldn't hold it in. It wasn't even the emotions from just the race, it was everything. It was BC, it was my quads, it was all the hours of training, everyone that made this race possible for me, Marianne for even suggesting (pushing??) me to do it....everything all hit me at once. I did it. Something I never thought I could do.

What would you do differently?:

Wow, I'm not sure I could have done anything differently! I would have loved to go faster but I couldn't. I gave it all I had.

Post race

Warm down:

No warm down. At all. Just finished running and that was it! Hugged my friends, cried a bit and got my stuff out of transition. Off for some recovery food!

What limited your ability to perform faster:

The biggest issue I had was my bike fitness. I just didn't have the time/opportunity to put in the long rides like I needed to. Lesson learned!

Another detail to note is that this was my fourth triathlon. Yup, fourth. I have done three sprints before this race. So, I think my lack of experience showed. But where I lack in experience, I make up for in my overwhelming amount of determination and stubbornness.

This was an experience unlike any other I have had.  The highs and the lows of the day were remarkable.  I learned a lot about myself through this journey.  I encourage you all to try something new.  Something you do not think you can do.  Set a goal.  Work toward it.  It might take a lot of work and tears but when you attain it, it is a feeling unlike any other.  It is amazing what things you will learn about yourself when you push yourself to your limit and beyond.

School's Out for the Summer!!!

Woot, last day of school!!!!!

Bring on the summer fun!!!

Best Buds and Wipeouts

Stitch and his best buddy, C.

And then there is BC.....

*sigh*